The majority of marriages fail, either ending in divorce and separation or devolving into bitterness and dysfunction. Of all the people who get married, only three in 10 remain in healthy, happy marriages, as the psychologist Ty Tashiro points out in his book The Science of Happily Ever After , which was published earlier this year. Social scientists first started studying marriages by observing them in action in the s in response to a crisis: Married couples were divorcing at unprecedented rates. Worried about the impact these divorces would have on the children of the broken marriages, psychologists decided to cast their scientific net on couples, bringing them into the lab to observe them and determine what the ingredients of a healthy, lasting relationship were. Was each unhappy family unhappy in its own way, as Tolstoy claimed, or did the miserable marriages all share something toxic in common?
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My girlfriend of 8 months bought me chocolate, then broke up with me, then proceeded to cry on my shoulder about family problems, then ate my chocolate. It lasted an hour, but was done forty minutes in when she asked if my parents were disappointed in me. Went on a date once with a girl who ordered enough food at the restaurant I took her to load up a nice size take-home box, then got some nice drinks on my dime at the bar. It was , and a first date with this girl I had liked for about 4 years. Turned out to also be the last date.